Morning!
Today I wanna discuss an issue I always see in all types of relationships, but more frequently in romantic situations. Normally it's called the blame game. One person, or even both is always blaming the other for the bad times and can never see their own faults. There is always an action that precedes a reaction. Even if you're oblivious to the root of the problem, it exists. You can subconsciously be causing your partner to do certain things you may not like. So I suggest when pointing out someones negatives and asking them to change, try to figure out what you can do to help.
To me relationships are like a journey with your partner. You are both trying to get to the same place. If youre riding in the buggy while he's dragging you up the hill (and vice versa) you cant be mad if he keeps slowing down and giving up on the trip. Why complain when you are doing nothing to help. How bout getting out, walking beside him, and helping him push. Even if he doesnt mind dragging you along, it's got to be way easier for you to do the same amount of work.
I try to see both sides to an argument and I try to remember no one is perfect. If you want to bring attention to a problem, the only way to find a solution is to work together. If someone is doing something to bother you, they may just be reacting to something you are doing. To me, dealing with an issue together makes your partner more willing to work on what it is you are asking. In that case, after pointing the finger and demanding change, you have to be willing to ask, "What can I do to help?" :-)
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