They All Love Me

I think I must be the bomb.com or something quite like it. No, really. As many guys as Ive met, dated, hung out with, texted, called, Facebooked, Twittered, and so on, you would think it would be a few who werent interested. But no, they all liked me and wanted to be with me. All of them.

How do I know this you ask? Because Ive NEVER, EVER had a man tell me he wasnt interested or just didnt like me. Weird huh.

Now ofcourse, all of these relationships didnt work out due to unforseen circumstances such as (insert excuse number 1 here), (lie #2 here), and (disappearing act #3 here). But never because I just wasnt their type or they were looking for something different than I was.

Timing was always a problem. Dont you hate that? Oh my gosh, and sometimes a guy would forget his life wasn't together until after I fell for him. Some of my fave men were so busy, Diddy would side eye. And eventually things would fizzle because of them, not me, ofcourse.

I dont know why Im always having to tell men Im not interested, we'll never be, I dont want to date you like that, etc... and I have yet hear things like that myself. Every man i have ever met loves me. Period.

Oh yes, because I am the shit. -_-


.....................(NotBecauseSomeMenCouldntTellTheTruthIfTheyGotPaidToDoItCauseThatsLikeCrazy)

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New Shoes!

Mates are like shoes. If the shoe fits, wear it. Put those too expensive, small, tall, painful shoes down. Especially if u cant wear them OUT! There's a reason they're on sale. Either they're defective, so last fall, or everyone already has them.

Stop going for the NAMEbrand. People who go for what's hot can be sold ANYTHING. Be the person that makes the seller work for that commission and only buys what they came to get and can afford!

Pick the best shoe for all occasions. Ones you can wear anywhere and around anyone. Never settle for a "good" shoe you can only rock once! Keep browsing.

Once you get them, make them HOT! If theyre for you, that wont be a problem. And by then, ofcourse, everyone struggling in their shoes will want yours. But they wont be available anymore. Oops.

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I Just WANT You

I want you. Plain and simple. There should be no confusion with that statement. But lately I find that when you're real enough to even utter those words, people hear something totally different. Lol

Often I have experienced when you tell someone you like them or want them, they hear "I'm in love, want to get married, and have kids..." or my favorite "I NEED you". Pay attention. If I'm not going to keep it real, I'm not going to say anything at all.

I dont know where you guys get this stuff from. Dont ever confuse a want with a need because you will end up with neither. Just because someone wants you doesnt mean they will put up with nonsense to keep you around. Like, for what?

There is no power in somebody WANTING you. Especially when you dont even know what they want you for. Could just be to kick it sometimes and in that case you can easily be replaced.

Wants are disposable. Didn't you know?

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Through All Emotions

I love being my real self all the time. I dont see how you fake people change who you are given the situation. If I love you, like you, or dislike you, youre never going to be confused about it no matter what you say or do.

Learning to be myself through all emotions is a goal I am glad to have met. I no longer let my emotions determine my mindframe and reactions to other. Just because someone else decides to change who they are for an hour or whatever doesnt mean I have to.

A lot of times people have differences and feel as though they have finally seen "someone's true colors". But who is to say which side wasn't real? Maybe the asshole you are getting is temporary because the person doesn't know how to continue being themselves when upset or hurt.

I take pride in being able to seperate my feelings from my thoughts. Even though my heart may tell me to pop off, my mind wont allow me to display anything other than my true character. I wont allow someone else's shortcomings to provoke me into saying or doing anything I normally wouldnt.

It's not real to flip a switch on emotions. I just choose when and how I want to display them.

I think I have arrived :-)

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Loop-De-La

Ever felt like someone had just thrown you for the silliest loop ever? The out of the blue, unexpected loop is my best friend. We go way back. Ive gotten used to the thrill of the take off, the fear of the downward slope, and the pain of the bar that left you hangin, when everything was put on hold.

The hell is going on here?

All I can say is dont be surprised by the loop. You knew you chose the rollercoaster instead of the tea cup ride. It's kinda like, what we do. Who wouldnt pick the fun, exciting ride?

What's funny is we forget how the loop goes. You gain a little momentum, you go a little up and down, and then BAM. You get the loop. This is the part where the ride sends you aalllll the way up and around, and then youre back down. And most likely, that ride is about to be over. Sad? I know.

We all know these rides last a split second. But that one loop is worth it all. I guess.

Now, do you wanna ride it again? Probably so. But this time, expect the loop. There's always a loop.

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Make The Dream Work

Busy is not always bad. Having a job is great. Maintaining a life is even better! Especially when it's your own.

I think the best relationships occur when both people allow the other to live. To do what you want, be on your own schedule, and still manage to have someone special is not easy for most.

I want someone with career and personal goals, as well as many hobbies and friends because that is what I have.

A lot of times you run across great people with a plan. They know what they want and where they are going and you may have to take a backseat to that. The appreciation they will have for you when they get there is greater than anything they could kinda give you right now.

There are many different paths to a single destination. The journey is just as important as the goal. Have your own story to tell.

Respect the dream. Become a team. It will work.

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Listening VS Watching

When it comes to new relationships, how do you know what lane to stay in? When do you know it graduated from just friends to more? Is it something he says or does?

.......I really wanna know lol....

I think all guys are different and it's not as simple as checking yes, no, or maybe on the paper anymore. Some words and actions mean more or less to different men. And because some men will do anything for the prize, what signs do you watch for?

I normally like to go by actions. But what if a guy is in a place where he cant show you what he normally would? Then ofcourse, you would listen to what he says. But what if he's a liar? Or he never says anything? Then do you take a little from both??

When does watching trump listening and vice versa?

Seems to me trying to figure out a man's mind is such a major no no! After a lot of illegal lane changes, I believe in "when you know, you know." Yes, it's cliche, but when you have to go through all this nonsense just to figure out if he likes you, he proooobably doesnt. Atleast not as much as you like him.

If he did, he would leave no room for questions. :-)

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You Aint Sh*t Too

For those who havent realized yet :-)

They say good women always go for the bad guys. For whatever reason we overlook the man who is doing or willing to do whatever we want for the guy who doesnt even think about 2/3 of those things. And time and time again we go for the buster, instead of the right man who has been there all along. There are several reasons for this, which i'll leave for another post lol

Now, there has to be a flip side. Some men look for the weak female. The insecure female. The bum female. The crazy female. I could go on but I have things to do. Anywho, it seems to be easier to deal with that kind of girl than an intelligent, beautiful, funny and confident woman.

Why stress, placing all your effort into one great woman, when you can spread it around to a couple subpar women and call them boo? Duh.

Here is my main point: If you are consistently choosing aint sh*t men, what does that make you? If you dont have the real standards and morals to choose the man you KNOW is better over the project you also KNOW you cant fix, doesnt that mean you aint sh*t too? Oh, okay.

Now this doesnt mean you arent smart, beautiful, funny, charming, etc... And all the things you believe you are. You're just not owning those traits yet and that is why those men KEEP PICKING YOU.

Once you really step into the role you have claimed, you wont be able to choose anything other than what's right for you. So pull yourself out of the aint sh*t pool, dry off, and try again. :-)

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Not TOO Far

Sooo when youre pushing someone away do you ever wonder how far you can push before they arent reachable to pull back? Or when youre tired of being pushed and you make yourself unreachable, did you think about the journey back? Seems like this game can get out of hand, literally.

Do what you wanna do. Go where you wanna go. But make sure it's a situation youre happy in and a place you want to be before you go there because you could get stuck.

It's only so far you can push someone away before they start to believe that's where they should be. Then they might decide not to come back when YOURE ready. And if you do decide you dont want to be in arms reach anymore, do just that.

This game can become very back and forth with people who put I before WE. And that's not a bad thing if you no longer want the relationship. But if you do, this pushing and pulling will leave you both too far gone.

It only takes one person to give up and walk away. And that's soooo much easier than being pushed.

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Woe Is Me

2010 Was a Rough One lol

I mean really, God? You showed out last year. But I got the message!

Romantically, financially, and physically I struggled. If it wasnt one thing, it was another. Aaaallll freakin year. I just couldnt figure out where I went left, because life was always sweet for me.

But then I realized what it was. Maybe I had taken for granted all my many blessings and hadnt taken the time to really pay it forward to someone else. Being appreciative and showing appreciation are two different things.

Many of us go through trials like this, but few really learn and grow from it. I am proud to have made it past everything still smiling. I am happier than before because I know I can only go up from here.

Realizing your strength, drive, and determination in all areas of life is the best lesson learned. Now instead of "woe is me" try *Wow Is Me!* :-)

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LOML

Love Of My Life

He loves me without a doubt, no question, 100% love. All day, everyday, no matter what, even when he says or shows different. I just know.

Doesnt mean we're perfect. Doesnt mean we have a great relationship. He's not always there, but always when it matters. He'll fight for me even while i fight with him.

He knows my favorite color, songs, foods, movies, pajamas, hairstyle, jeans, petpeeves, and every single secret Ive ever had.

The love of your life may not be the one youre with or meant to be with. But just knowing that person exists is a beautiful thing for sure.

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Why Substitute?

Another lesson learned this past year: You cant substitue people. this goes for romantic and platonic relationships. If you break up with someone or fall out with a friend, you either wait for them to come back or you *replace* them. Never try and substitute.

The difference between the two is simple. Substitute means youre putting someone in their place til they come back. Replace means you have moved on and want to give away their spot. Ya gotta choose the latter b/c it's best for all parties involved.

If you ever want them back you need to be patient. Real love doesnt mean you settle for the next best thing. How do you think the love of your life or best friend will feel about you putting some imitation in their spot just cause you were bored? How does the substitution feel when they realize they were just a placeholder? And ofcourse, how do you feel when they both leave you because of that?

If you value your relationships, dont ever substitute. If youre not over it, wait. If you are, move on for good. And be mature enough to know the difference.

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Is It Still 2010???

Happy New Years Guys!!!!

Yeessssss, I know, it has been a while. Im a little late but i promised myself to continue updating my blog this year. :-)

With that being said, although it's the new year, I still find some people hittin me with 2010 BS. Is it just me?!?! Did yall not get the memo that Tavia will not be entertaining any of last years foolery. I refuse to make time for it. Sorry.

I hope you all feel the same way. It's up to you to decide who and what you want to entertain this year. Please dont still be dwelling on some crap that didnt work itself out before the countdown.

If someone or something wants to keep it going, u can let THEM. But know your limits and when youre ready to call it quits for yourself. Dont let anyone disturb your peace of mind.

What is for you is for you, and you wont need to do anything but show up. Stop exhausting yourself hanging on to whatever is trying to go, so you will be refreshed for what is trying to come.

Learn to live and let go. :-)

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